today is the day to shush...(an action post.)

Today is the day to shush...yourself

Mr. Vincent … if you met him, you loved him.  He had this great smirk of a smile and a wonderfully happy voice that you didn't get to hear often enough. He was one of the extraordinary people who listened to music by Jim Nabors every chance he got and who always suggested that his lunch was hot – even if it included ice cream.  Most days he sat in a corner at Joy’s House, an adult day service, rocking back and forth, back and forth … back and forth.  He was usually so quiet that it was almost possible to forget he was there.

When Tracy got the call that he was in ICU, she walked in mental circles not knowing what to do. 

He had a heart attack and it seemed that with all of his other diagnoses, his body just wasn't strong enough to make a comeback.  She finally gathered herself and went to his hospital room.

She found herself lucky to have some time alone with him because his room had been pretty full with his family – his loving brother, some distant relatives, his roommates and friends from the group home where he had lived, and her co-workers from Joy's House who loved him over the course of his years of steady visits.

She said to him the things that she was pretty sure he already knew, but that she needed to say out loud. She held his hand, stroked his arm, cried her tears and prayed over him.

And then she left.

The next time she saw Mr. Vincent was at his funeral. It was a beautiful afternoon filled with song and laughter and getting to know his friends and family better. One of his roommates got up and shared a funny and touching story of how he didn't like Vincent at first, but they learned to care about each other over the years and eventually became the best of friends.

Another friend made everyone smile when he stood up and belted out a questionable rendition of “the Star-Spangled Banner” in Vincent’s memory.  There was something magical about these men – something that went way beyond their collection of developmental diagnoses.  It was in their faces, the way they cared about each other, the way that they had chosen to become family.

After the service, everyone was invited back to the group home to have a meal together.  Tracy and her co-workers, Carrie, Angela and Tanisha, drove together sharing memories of Vincent along the way.  When they arrived at the home, they were pleased to find it comfortable and clean and full of life. 

One of the caregivers took them back to Vincent’s room.  When they got there, she handed Tracy a thick blue spiral bound notebook.  On the front it read “Joy’s House.”  Tracy opened it to find that Vincent had written down notes from his visits over the past three years. 

He wrote about the weather, the others who came for care and community, his secret crush on Miss Ilene.  He shared other people’s news – things he had overheard them saying like Beth’s engagement and Sam’s secret singing voice. 

He talked about the warmth and the love that he felt while in their care. And in his last submission he wrote, “We had turkee for lunch.  The meel was hot. Heather says she doesn’t like Sallee but  I heard her tell Sallee that she loves her.  Sallee smiled.  That made her happy.  That made me happy.  Carrie’s pregnant.  She told her husband on the phone.  That made me happy too.” 

“Carrie?!”  They all turned to Carrie with awe. 

“I wasn’t going to tell anyone yet,” she smirked.  “Wow, he really did hear everything!”  They all laughed and cried and hugged.  On the way out of Vincent’s room, Carrie spoke softly, “If it’s a boy, we both like the name Vincent.”  They all smiled because that made them happy.

~ today is the day...for you ~

In our Western culture, silence is so often thought of as uncomfortable or angry.  However, in many other cultures silence is…truth.  It’s where we find the things that otherwise can run from us.   

Today is the day for you to speak only when what you have to say will add to your surroundings. 

If not, do your best to remain quiet. 

In addition, try turning off the television or the radio, turning the ringer on the phone to quiet mode and simply enjoying being.  See what you can learn about your environment and yourself in the process.  You will be amazed at what you hear when you aren't busy speaking.

~ places & spaces to try silence ~

In a crowded room

Watching it rain

During a meal

While working out

At work

Driving with a friend

While in a conversation



~ bonus tips ~

Remember that your body language says a lot about what you are thinking and how you are feeling.  Use it to your advantage.

When you do speak, have something wonderful and useful to say. 
Don’t just fill blank space with words.


When you do listen, really hear what the other person has to say. 
And, be present.  You can think about how to respond once she is done speaking.


If you are having a hard time keeping quiet, just try gently shutting your mouth. 
Believe it or not, that usually helps!


Remember that when answering someone, it's okay to use short words such as "yes" and "no." 


You can overdo it and not speak enough – so just try to find your happy place, somewhat of a balance.


I hope that you'll become a part of this experience & follow www.todayisthedayforyou.blogspot.com
as we take our best of intentions & put them into motion to
see what big difference our little actions can make together! 


The goal is to post a new action post...for you...every week, followed 
by an experience post, which shares a real life experience from me, or maybe you,
showing us what happens when we do the things we think so often about doing.

Just post your experience here or email me at tinaattodayistheday@gmail.com.


Until then, have fun shushing yourself!  And know that
your smallest of actions can change someone's life, including your own. 

Don't wait too long. After all...today is the day!