today is the day to show appreciation...(an action post.)

today is the day to show appreciation...to someone you love

Jennifer really likes to bake.  On a rainy Saturday afternoon, she would often find herself baking her grandmother’s famous raisin bread.  When the weather turned cold, chili was her favorite.  She loved the way that the ingredients all poured in, not making much sense, but after spending being nestled together, it was as if they had shared secrets and stories as they swirled in the bowl together.  On this particular day, it was getting warmer. 

This seemed like a blueberry muffin kind of day. 

She had frozen fresh blueberries from her trip last summer to North Carolina with her parents and sister that she was certain were calling to her from their new home in the cold.  She turned on soft jazz music, pulled out her well-worn blueberry recipe, dug for the blueberries in the deep freeze and managed to sit everything else she needed on the counter by the kitchen window.  Her mind drifted as she stirred the ingredients.  She thought about squatting in the hot sun picking blueberries off of bushes twice her size on the Smith Family Farm. 

It was tradition for her family to pick the biggest, sweetest, most brightly colored blueberries they could find.  Mr. Smith always encouraged them to eat all they could as they filled the buckets with fruit and memories.  And then she saw her parents’ faces.  Did’t they always seem younger to her when they were on that farm?  Jennifer supposed it was because her parents had been kids on this farm themselves.  They never tired telling the story of how they met, how they teased each other, grew up and married. 

And Jennifer never tired of hearing that story.

Watching them this last year, Jennifer thought to herself how much wanted, and still wants, a piece of what they have.  She has always admired the way that they work through every thing, every day, together and how they have been so good at sharing with their kids and creating traditions and memories. 

A lifetime of experiences clouded her head and she suddenly felt like she wanted more.

When the muffins went in the oven, she found herself sitting on the family room floor flipping through photos of the last twenty-some summers in North Carolina and settling on a great picture of her parents holding hands when they were about 17.  She made a copy of the photo and while it was printing, she pulled out a piece of paper and started writing a note.  It began with the words “My favorite things about my parents” and she wrote and wrote until she heard the timer going off in the kitchen some twenty minutes later. 

She pulled out a deep wicker basket and lined it with a linen napkin, gently placing the muffins inside, with the note and photo on top. She pulled on her jacket, grabbed her car keys and soon she and the basket were in the car heading to her parents’ house. It wasn’t their anniversary or a birthday or any holiday for that matter. 

This visit was out of pure love and an opportunity for Jennifer to thank her parents for bringing such joy and hope and meaning to her life. 

She was especially proud of the card.  It was the most simple of the three to make, but she knew that she had put the most care in the words that she had written.  And the last couple of lines, they were her favorite.  They read “And lastly, I cherish the way that you show other people what love looks like.  It gives the rest of us something to live up to and something to be a part of.  Thank you for my life and your influence in it.  Love, Jenn”

Jenn placed the basket on the front steps and drove away.  She dialed her parents’ phone number.  When her mother answered, she simply said, “Mom, I left you something on the front porch.”  “Well, Honey, why didn’t you come in?”  “I don’t know.  It just felt right to leave it for Dad and you to enjoy alone."

"Besides, I have muffins to bake,” she smiled as she said it. 

 ~ today is the day...for you ~

Today is the day for you to show someone else how much you appreciate them. 

It can be something so very simple or you can go all out.  That, my friend, is up to you.

~ choose someone special ~
Who has made a significant impact on your life?

Your parents? A mentor? A co-worker or boss? An uncle or aunt? A neighbor? Your children?

 Pick one of these important people & think about what you can do to show your appreciation in a way that is unique & meaningful for them.

~ a few ways to shop appreciation ~
Send a letter or card

it can be touching or funny, but no matter what, it must be sincere and by the way, text messages and emails don’t count!

Make something special

maybe paint a ceramic piece at a local art shop, paint on canvas, carve a piece of wood

Do a chore for this person

take out their trash, clean their house, wash their car, cut their lawn, weed their garden

Take your special someone to lunch or dinner

pick a restaurant with meaning, some place you have created a memory together...and do it again

Make sure to include something in writing that

will become a wonderful reminder of this gift forever. 

I hope that you'll become a part of this experience & decide to follow today is the day

as we take our best of intentions & put them into motion to see what big difference our little actions can make together! 

Feel free to post your experience here or email me at tinaattodayistheday@gmail.com.

Don't wait too long. After all...today is the day!

today is the day to shush...(an action post.)

Today is the day to shush...yourself

Mr. Vincent … if you met him, you loved him.  He had this great smirk of a smile and a wonderfully happy voice that you didn't get to hear often enough. He was one of the extraordinary people who listened to music by Jim Nabors every chance he got and who always suggested that his lunch was hot – even if it included ice cream.  Most days he sat in a corner at Joy’s House, an adult day service, rocking back and forth, back and forth … back and forth.  He was usually so quiet that it was almost possible to forget he was there.

When Tracy got the call that he was in ICU, she walked in mental circles not knowing what to do. 

He had a heart attack and it seemed that with all of his other diagnoses, his body just wasn't strong enough to make a comeback.  She finally gathered herself and went to his hospital room.

She found herself lucky to have some time alone with him because his room had been pretty full with his family – his loving brother, some distant relatives, his roommates and friends from the group home where he had lived, and her co-workers from Joy's House who loved him over the course of his years of steady visits.

She said to him the things that she was pretty sure he already knew, but that she needed to say out loud. She held his hand, stroked his arm, cried her tears and prayed over him.

And then she left.

The next time she saw Mr. Vincent was at his funeral. It was a beautiful afternoon filled with song and laughter and getting to know his friends and family better. One of his roommates got up and shared a funny and touching story of how he didn't like Vincent at first, but they learned to care about each other over the years and eventually became the best of friends.

Another friend made everyone smile when he stood up and belted out a questionable rendition of “the Star-Spangled Banner” in Vincent’s memory.  There was something magical about these men – something that went way beyond their collection of developmental diagnoses.  It was in their faces, the way they cared about each other, the way that they had chosen to become family.

After the service, everyone was invited back to the group home to have a meal together.  Tracy and her co-workers, Carrie, Angela and Tanisha, drove together sharing memories of Vincent along the way.  When they arrived at the home, they were pleased to find it comfortable and clean and full of life. 

One of the caregivers took them back to Vincent’s room.  When they got there, she handed Tracy a thick blue spiral bound notebook.  On the front it read “Joy’s House.”  Tracy opened it to find that Vincent had written down notes from his visits over the past three years. 

He wrote about the weather, the others who came for care and community, his secret crush on Miss Ilene.  He shared other people’s news – things he had overheard them saying like Beth’s engagement and Sam’s secret singing voice. 

He talked about the warmth and the love that he felt while in their care. And in his last submission he wrote, “We had turkee for lunch.  The meel was hot. Heather says she doesn’t like Sallee but  I heard her tell Sallee that she loves her.  Sallee smiled.  That made her happy.  That made me happy.  Carrie’s pregnant.  She told her husband on the phone.  That made me happy too.” 

“Carrie?!”  They all turned to Carrie with awe. 

“I wasn’t going to tell anyone yet,” she smirked.  “Wow, he really did hear everything!”  They all laughed and cried and hugged.  On the way out of Vincent’s room, Carrie spoke softly, “If it’s a boy, we both like the name Vincent.”  They all smiled because that made them happy.

~ today is the day...for you ~

In our Western culture, silence is so often thought of as uncomfortable or angry.  However, in many other cultures silence is…truth.  It’s where we find the things that otherwise can run from us.   

Today is the day for you to speak only when what you have to say will add to your surroundings. 

If not, do your best to remain quiet. 

In addition, try turning off the television or the radio, turning the ringer on the phone to quiet mode and simply enjoying being.  See what you can learn about your environment and yourself in the process.  You will be amazed at what you hear when you aren't busy speaking.

~ places & spaces to try silence ~

In a crowded room

Watching it rain

During a meal

While working out

At work

Driving with a friend

While in a conversation



~ bonus tips ~

Remember that your body language says a lot about what you are thinking and how you are feeling.  Use it to your advantage.

When you do speak, have something wonderful and useful to say. 
Don’t just fill blank space with words.


When you do listen, really hear what the other person has to say. 
And, be present.  You can think about how to respond once she is done speaking.


If you are having a hard time keeping quiet, just try gently shutting your mouth. 
Believe it or not, that usually helps!


Remember that when answering someone, it's okay to use short words such as "yes" and "no." 


You can overdo it and not speak enough – so just try to find your happy place, somewhat of a balance.


I hope that you'll become a part of this experience & follow www.todayisthedayforyou.blogspot.com
as we take our best of intentions & put them into motion to
see what big difference our little actions can make together! 


The goal is to post a new action post...for you...every week, followed 
by an experience post, which shares a real life experience from me, or maybe you,
showing us what happens when we do the things we think so often about doing.

Just post your experience here or email me at tinaattodayistheday@gmail.com.


Until then, have fun shushing yourself!  And know that
your smallest of actions can change someone's life, including your own. 

Don't wait too long. After all...today is the day!

no hug. no smile. no problem. (an experience post.)

Well, I did it.  I gifted a neighbor and I have to say, it was different than I had anticipated.  This is a neighbor I had never met before.  I had heard from someone else in our housing addition that this young couple was expecting their first child, so this seemed like a no-brainer. 

Grabbed a gift bag.  Grabbed some tissue paper.  I placed in a few beautiful wrapped cookies from a local restaurant and a gift card hoping that it would be enough to get them dinner on a tired evening after being up all hours of the night with their new little one. 

Putting it all together made me think about having my three kids and how unexpected and crazy and wonderful it all was when they first came into our lives.  I thought about countless hours spent sitting with my new babies curled up in my lap, feeling the heat of their sweet new fingers and listening to the beautiful rhythm of their breaths. 

People always tell new parents how quickly it all goes by and to stop wishing away the moment and to just be still, but we can’t help it.  We think about what it will be like when they say those first words. 

“Da Da” and “Ma Ma” are such special gifts. 

We dream about the day that they can crawl and then walk and then run.  We think about sports and faith and school and, and, and…

As a chance to share this experience and this emotional reunion I was having in my own heart, I invited my kids to join me.  It was, of course, my three-year old who jumped at the chance to go with me.  So off we went.  I chased after her as she picked up sticks, sang Old McDonald and ran just far enough ahead of me that I had to quicken my steps.

But when we got to the house, I froze for a second.  I hadn’t scripted what to say.  In all honesty, I kind of looked a mess and then thanked God that my brown-eyed girl was with me because once the couple got a look at her they wouldn’t even remember I was there. 

My own words, “today is the day,” kept racing through my heard.    

We walked up the large steps one by one and I felt my heart racing.  Ding dong.  The doorbell rang and for just a moment I wanted to run away like teenager pulling a prank at dusk.  But I stayed…mainly because my little one can’t run that fast!

The door opened and there stood my neighbor.

“Today is the day,” I thought again.  “Do this.” 

“Hi.  I’m Tina.  My husband and I are friends with the Sampsons around the corner and they told us that you are expecting your first child in a couple of weeks, so we thought we would bring you a gift,” I babbled as I handed him the red and blue bag. 

“I’m Tim.  And actually we had some complications, so we had the baby a few weeks ago.  She’s still in the hospital.”  He said with a straight and tired face, not once glancing at the anxious child holding onto my leg. 

I didn’t know what to say, but the words just came out, “Is she going to be okay?” 

“We hope so,” he said with what seemed like it was trying to be a smile.

“What is your daughter’s name?”

“Samantha,” he said.

“We will pray for her.”  I motioned to our street and said, “If there is anything else we can do, please know we are literally around the corner.”

We exchanged niceties and off we went.  For a moment I felt sad, like this had been a bust.  I guess I thought I would get some big reaction.  But really, if this man had grabbed and hugged me or given me some huge cheesy smile, I don’t know what I would have done. 

So it made me think…

How am I to know what this small gesture meant to this man and woman who are clearly going through so much?  Maybe it meant nothing.  Maybe it changed their day.  Maybe it gave them comfort to know that a neighbor was thinking of them and went out of her way to buy them a meal.  Maybe he was excited and grateful and touched, but had just hung up the phone with the doctor or his wife who was sitting bedside to their newborn because she couldn’t bear the thought of being five steps away from this new life.  Maybe he had just woken from a nap because he had been up all night researching an illness that was threatening his first child’s future.  Maybe…it doesn’t matter.

Doing something kind for someone else shouldn’t be something we do because we expect a reaction.  It shouldn’t be something we do because we think it will change who they are, or who we are.  We should do things for our neighbors because it is the right thing to do.  

And really, we never know what happens when that door closes.

We are praying for baby Samantha.  We are praying for her parents.  We are hopeful that the day will come soon when they bring her home.  Today is the day we are hopeful for them that they will quickly be able to get past the moment-to-moment fear for her life and that they will be swept away, like so many of us, dreaming about “Da Das” and “Ma Mas” and the day that they will be forced to chase after her as she runs down the sidewalk grabbing sticks and singing songs.

today is the day to get to know... (an action post.)

today is the day to get to know…your neighbor

When Kent and his family moved into the new home, they fell in love with their neighbors.  That is, all except one.  About five houses down, an older man lived alone.  Rumor had it that his wife had died about fifteen years earlier and people just hadn’t seen him much since then.  When he had to venture out, it was always late at night and he boarded his big old boat of a car from the garage, so no one really ever even saw his face. 

Kent wouldn’t allow his kids to play in front of “Crazy Ray’s” house because quite honestly, he was just kind of scary.  Everyone knows the house – it’s the one that movies are made of with the overgrown grass, the shutters falling off and the newspapers gathered on the front porch. 

That guy seemed flat out weird.

Kent’s wife Betsy was eight months pregnant and feeling great.  So great that she told Kent she was going out for a walk alone.  Even though her girls begged to go along, she told them no and swiftly walked out the door.  About forty minutes later, Kent was getting antsy that Betsy wasn’t home.  He even tried to call her cell phone and realized that wasn’t going to get him anywhere when he heard it ringing in the other room.  And then he heard sirens.  When he looked outside, he saw that they were right out front and he ran outside to see Betsy being loaded into the ambulance. 

“Don’t worry, Honey,” she said calmly, “I just took a nasty fall.” 

Two days later, Betsy came home still pregnant with a healthy baby and a broken ankle.  She had tripped over her own two feet and fallen right outside of Ray’s house.  If it hadn’t been for him, who knows how long she would have been laying there.  He was quick to dial 911 and made his way out to the sidewalk to stay with her until the ambulance arrived.  He would have run to get Kent, but he doesn’t walk so well and it was all he could do to get to Betsy.  To hear Betsy tell the story, one would think that Ray was an angel.  “I was a bit out of sorts thanks to the fall, but I could see someone coming toward me.  He was slow and walked with a cane, but I could tell he was coming to help me.  When Mr. Chambers, Ray, made it to me, he sat himself down on the sidewalk, joking the whole time about the fact that he would never be able to get up and thank goodness help was on the way.  He patted my hand the whole time and kept me company until the ambulance got there.”

With some encouragement from Betsy, Kent knew what he had to do. 

He made his way to Crazy Ray’s house and rang the doorbell.  When the door opened, Kent extended his hand and thanked Mr. Chambers.  It seems that Mr. Chambers went into a deep depression when his wife died and shortly after, was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis.  His son had been helping to take care of him for the last few years and since his son worked second shift, the only time they could get out to get groceries and fill prescriptions was late at night, so Mr. Chambers never really had the chance to meet any of the new neighbors. 

Kent made a promise that from that day on, he would help Mr. Chambers as needed.  He started mowing his yard, offering to help with groceries and even spearheaded a neighborhood project to build a ramp so that he could get in and out easier.  Now when you drive down the street, you wouldn’t think twice about Mr. Chambers except how kind he seems as he sits on his front porch, talking with the neighbors and waving hello as you drive by.

~ today is the day...for you ~

Today is the day for you to reach out to someone who lives close by.  Whether you live in a housing addition or in the middle of the country, someone lives next door.  I grew up in a neighborhood where the only way I got called to dinner was by my mom yelling out the back door and then the mom five houses down hollering up at the park where all of us kids were busy swinging and playing freeze tag.  It was a neighborhood where anybody’s parents had the right to yell at you when you did something wrong, doors were always open and when a wedding or funeral took place everyone went to celebrate and be together. 

We were an extended family and I loved every minute of it. 

Today is the day for you to extend your hand to your neighbor and to build on your community right next door no matter how many steps away it is. 

~ to help you get started ~

Volunteer for your neighborhood association

Offer a split from your plants to a neighbor

Share vegetables from your garden

Drop a note in a neighbor's mail box

Stop and say hello when walking by

Offer to lend something to a neighbor

Help someone when they seem in need or tired

~ we'd love to hear how it went ~

What did you do to reach out to a neighbor?  

How did you choose this particular household?

How did they respond?

What impression does this experience leave with you?

What can you do to continue to build your relationship with your neighbors?

I hope that you'll become a part of this experience & follow www.todayisthedayforyou.blogspot.com 

as we take our best of intentions & put them into motion to

see what big difference our little actions can make together! 

Monday starts a new week & I promise a new action post for you. 

Until then, have fun getting to know your neighbor & know that

your smallest of actions can change someone's life, including your own.  

Don't wait too long.  After all...today is the day!

do as i say, not as i do. (an introduction.)

do as i say, not as i do.

The short of the story is this…About three years ago I woke up with an idea. A great idea. It was one of those moments when you know your destiny and you believe, with every core of your being, that you can be a part of changing the world for the better. My dream and vision was a book full of life experiences from others, from you, from me, married up with calls to action.  A book to make us feel and think, but to also make each of us do.  Do something good, something great for ourselves, our community, our earth, the people we love the most.  The actions are simple.  They are the things we talk about doing, regret not doing and envy when someone else does them. 

But yet, they are the things we seldom do ourselves.   

In my draft of the introduction I describe how almost every movie with a storyline about someone terminally ill shows her living life to the fullest.  There’s usually a convertible and a scarf or a long-awaited conversation, a free fall out of an airplane, a first kiss or an uninhibited dive into the ocean waves.   Those of us watching these movies get out of our seats ready to take on the world.  We arm ourselves with the ideas and the strength to do the things we have always threatened to do.  We talk about making that call to an old friend.  We think about taking that crazy trip we have always dreamed of.  We imagine ourselves running into the arms of the one we deeply love for that romantic and sweet embrace.  And then life gets in the way.  Today becomes tomorrow and tomorrow becomes next week. 

The years begin to pass us by.


I talk about how we usually wait for something tragic to actually do the things we have always wanted to do – we wait for a diagnosis of cancer or divorce or some major life crisis. But the reality is that we shouldn’t wait – we are ready and hungry to do great things.  We all crave to do something good.  We want to improve our lives.  We want to make a difference in our world.  And we need to understand that our day, our good deeds within them, our best intention put into motion makes a difference.  Sometimes the difference is so little that we can’t even touch it and other times, it is so big that our eyes can’t take it all in. This introduction, along with thousands of scratch papers and printed words went into a lovely bag which snuggled its way into my desk and became a dust collector as it slipped into hibernation.  I doubted my talent, I questioned my time, I tortured myself over collaborations and which direction to turn. 

And then I was diagnosed with breast cancer on April 11, 2012. 

Silly me.  I didn’t listen to my own great advice.  I waited.  So here I am.  It’s been a whirlwind…I have a rolodex packed with medical business cards, my breasts have been removed, my physical wounds are healing and my mental wounds are leaps and bounds ahead of where I thought they would be.  I am also thrilled to share that I am cancer free.  I am a breast cancer survivor. 

And blogging through the blessing of carepages.com, I found myself craving to write more than ever.  I shared my medical journey, but more than that, I shared myself.  And in doing so, I received emails and cards and letters telling me how my journey had inspired others, not just through medical diagnoses, but to be true to themselves and to make changes in their lives that would impact their closest of friends as well as people they’ve never met.  I found that through sharing and through doing something, I could be part of a ripple effect of goodness, a movement for positive change.  It is exactly as the book was intended…the book I started and haven’t finished.  The book that I can’t shake from my soul, even though I have tried too many times to count. And once again I find myself positively haunted by the words that title that book…today is the day.

I will not wait any longer. 

So this blog is my chance at putting one foot in front of the other, to doing something.  I plan to write, enjoy, and collect life experiences and words of wisdom from you.  And together we will share these with anyone else who wants to join us.  And we’ll just see what happens when our collective best intentions are put into motion.  I can’t wait! Wouldn’t it be something if little old us bring change to the big world?  Or our individual worlds?  Or the world of someone we love? 

As a child, I remember my Dad Tom would tell me to do something and upon seeing him do the opposite, he would laugh and say, “Do as I say, not as I do.”  So here I am saying to you…please, please, oh please, do as I say, not as I do.  Don’t wait until you get a diagnosis of cancer or a divorce or have a major life crisis to make a change, to do something that you could easily do today. 

Join me and we’ll navigate this new adventure together. 

Today is the day, I have no doubt.  We’ll laugh, cry, smile, share, and do.  Some of these life experiences and actions will be easy to take in and others will challenge us to think and act outside of what we consider our normal.  But we’ll give it a try and see what happens…together. 

So, what do you think?  On Thursday at 12pm EST I plan to post my first real today is the day post.  Are you in? Should we get started? Oh, deep breaths, deep breaths.  This is very exciting.