I am three months out from my surgery so my schedule is now sprinkled with follow up appointments.  I get to see my breast surgeon, plastic surgeon, physical therapist, podiatrist.  (The podiatrist actually has nothing to do with my surgery, but in a strange way it brings me back to normal and makes me laugh.)

This past Monday Jeff and I went to see my outstanding oncologist.  (That is not a sarcastic outstanding.  The man is outstanding.)  He asked me a bunch of what seemed like random questions.  I answered. 

He asked if there was anything we wanted to know. 

I smiled and said, “Sooooo, if we aren’t afraid of this cancer coming back, why is it that we get to spend so much time with you?”  In a very dramatic fashion, he put down the papers he had been holding in his hands, rolled his chair closer to me, leaned in and said, “Because I am afraid that it may come back.” 

He is an oncologist.  His job is to look for cancer.  I know this.

But his words shot through me.  He went on to explain that I have had cancer once.  (Knew that.)  That my body can “create” cancer.  (Got it.)  And that even though my case was relatively easy and there are tons of people who would change seats with me because their diagnoses are far more threatening, there is always a chance it will come back one day and if it were to do that, it would be ugly – bone, liver, lung, brain… something horrible. 

There is, of course, also a great chance that I will live a long and health life only to die of old age.  I would like to go with this attractive option, please.

I told him that his words made me want to cry and at the same time brought me relief.  You see, I wanted to cry because those words are terrifying.  I felt relief because in my soul, I felt that this was the reality of having cancer and it was oddly nice to hear someone say the words.  Surrounding me these last couple of months have been words like “we got it,” “it’s a bump in the road,” “I can’t believe it was so easy,” “it really didn’t seem like that big of a deal” and a myriad of other things that I have either said or people have said to me. 

But deep down, I knew it couldn’t be this easy. 

It’s pretty common for women who have had breast cancer to talk about a life-long fear every time they go to a doctor’s appointment.  I didn’t get that before. 

I get that now. 

Now I know that I will be nervous about every headache, pain in my bones, cough and that every time I go to see my doctor, my blood pressure will go up and I will smile through nerves.  This will become my new normal and through prayer and time, it will get easier. 

I am smart enough to know that I cannot let myself live in fear every day.  I am also smart enough to know that I need to embrace whatever emotion I am feeling at any given time.  And this week it is safe to say that I. Am. Afraid. 

This will pass, I promise.  But I feel better just to say the words, so I will say them again.  I. Am. Afraid. 

I went out for a walk Monday night.  I was by myself and had my headphones on.  The music seemed to get faster and I could feel my adrenaline flowing until I found myself in a nice steady run.  The wind was in sweeping past me.  My feet met the ground with ease for the first time in a long time.  My body felt good, but my heart was hurting.  I was lost in thoughts and prayer. 

And I realized I was crying when my tears hit my cheeks.  The words of one of my best girlfriends kept going through my head.  I had called her earlier in the day to share all of this with her and she kept saying, “It’s okay to feel like this.  Tina, it’s okay for you to feel like this.”  I’m not even sure that she knew she was saying it, but something about it was soothing and cathartic.

On my cool down headed home, one of my favorite songs came on and I thought of you and realized that today is the day for me to share my song with you, hoping that if you find yourself in one of those moods on one of those days, you will remember that it’s okay to feel like this and that we all need to think good thoughts.  I. Am. Good.  Hoping you are too…

I'm just gonna say it,
There's no using in delaying,
I'm tired of the angry hanging out inside me,

So I'll quiet down the devil,
I'm gonna knock him with a shovel,
And I'll bury all my troubles underneath the rubble

When I'm alone in my dark dark room,
I have to tell myself to,

Think good thoughts,
Think good thoughts

Imagine what the world would be if we would just,
Think good thoughts,
Stop the bad from feeding,

I won't let the negativity turn me into my enemy,
Promise to myself that I won't let it get the best of me,
That's how I want to be...

...I just think rain on a summer night,
Stars filling up the sky,
Sun shining on my face,
Making a secret wish,
Finding my happiness,
That always makes me hold my head up high,
I wanna hold my head up high,

I wanna think good thoughts

I wanna think good thoughts

I won't let the negativity turn me into my enemy,
Promise to myself that I won't let it get the best of me,
That's how I want to be.

today is the day...to make music. (an action post.)

Mark and Samantha had been dating for a handful of months and it seemed as if things were getting pretty serious.  She had been in relationships before, but this one was different. 

One day they were out for a hike and Mark grabbed her by the hand.  “Come with me,” he said.  She smiled, trusting him entirely.  When they started walking in the direction of a nearby town, she figured they were going shopping or to grab a bite to eat. 

When Mark steered her toward a music store, she just laughed and shook her head.  Mark was obsessed with music.  He listened to hard rock during workouts, hip hop before going out, slow sweet songs while cooking dinner and classical when trying to go to sleep. 

He loved all genres and everything that created sound. 

Mark positioned her on a stool, placed oversized headphones on her ears and put his finger up as if to say “hold on.”  He reappeared within moments and handed the CD to the young woman behind the counter, who immediately placed it in the player and walked away. 

In her hand he placed the cd cover and she was surprised to see that it was Bonnie Raitt. 

And when the words hummed in her ears, she froze.

Something in your eyes, makes me want to lose myself,
Makes me want to lose myself, in your arms.
There's something in your voice, makes my heart beat fast.
Hope this feeling lasts, the rest of my life.

She looked him dead in the eyes and he just stared back.  It was as if he knew the song so well that he could hear each and every word floating through the headphones.  The corners of his lips turned into a slight smile and Samantha felt herself look away as tears filled her eyes. 

The words throughout the entire song were perfect. 

There were lines about feeling like home to someone and being lonely in life until now.  Bonnie Raitt sang with perfect pitch about how long she’s waited for someone to come along and change her life like this. 

Samantha’s heart was racing and she felt the perfect mixture of excitement and nerves. 

When the song ended, she sat for a moment in silence.  She took a deep breath and turned back to Mark.  He very slowly removed the headphones, placed his hand back in hers and kissed her on the cheek. 

He waved goodbye to the lady behind the counter and he and Samantha walked hand in hand back to her house, barely speaking a word.  There was no need to speak.  That song was magical.  It said everything they had been trying to say to each other for the last few weeks. 

Samantha was beaming inside.  Her heart kept doing flips and her fingers caressed Mark’s hand.  She was always giving him a hard time about his music.  He was always telling her that music spoke to him, that it said things that he could never find the words to reveal. 

And now she understood.

The music had spoken to her.  Who are we kidding?  It hadn’t just spoken, it screamed.  It stood on a mountain and shouted to the world.  And Samantha was forever changed because of it. 

That song said all of the things that neither one of them could find the words to say on their own.  It told a story and opened up a future. 

 

~ For you ~

Today is the day for you to find the right song and

to share it with someone in your life.

It can be a song that you’ve loved forever or one that you've

just discovered, but make it count. 

Match them up perfectly and ask the person to really listen to the words because you chose the song for them.  And let the meaning shine!

Remember that this is a simple action, but can have a lasting effect.  Every time your loved one hears this song, you will come to mind and emotions will be stirred that make them feel something special. 

This is how memories are made.  Go make one…today. 

 

I hope that you'll become a part of this experience & decide to follow today is the day as we take our best of intentions & put them into motion to see what big difference our little actions can make together!

Feel free to post your experience here or email me at tinaattodayistheday@gmail.com.

Don't wait too long. After all...today is the day!

today is the day...I remember that first time. (an action post.)

I may get in a lot of trouble for writing this post, but hey, it’s all for the good of the blog, right? 

I met my husband on June 24, 2000.  It was the night of our very first fundraising gala for Joy’s House.  We didn’t even have a Joy’s House house yet, which means that we weren’t providing any actual adult day services.  Yet there we were in a room at the Colts complex with 200+ people, raising thousands of dollars for a concept.  That alone was pretty electrifying.

But it was also the night I met Jeff. 

The silent auction had closed.  The emcee had introduced the night.  I had spoken with the mic in hand and my emotions on my sleeve.  The band was beginning to play. 

People were generously coming up to share their names and companies and possible connections.  And then Jeff appeared.  He extended his hand, introduced himself and told me that he was in the construction materials world and offered to help. 

I very casually asked him to write down his name and number and leave it at the registration table so that I could follow up.  Instead, he wrote it on a bingo card and placed it in my hand, reiterating that he would like to help and would love to take me to lunch or dinner to talk about it. 

I played coy, thanking him with a smile.  When he walked away, I turned to my mom and said, “The cutest guy just gave me his number and I hope he doesn’t really want to talk business.” 

The room is pretty square.  And even with 200+ people in it, you run into each other like mice in a cage.  I ran into this new guy many times throughout the night and we kept talking business.  I finally turned to him and said, “I’m tired of talking business.  I want to dance.  Do you like to dance?”  He nodded yes.

Off we went to the dance floor.

It’s a quick story from there.  Went out on a date that week.  Spent time together nearly every day.  Met the families almost instantly.  Declared our love.  Got engaged six months to the day we met.  Married nine months after that.  Had three kids.  And here we are. 

Pretty simple, really.

But about seven years into this marriage, we were sitting with a dear friend of Jeff’s.  We’ll call him Randall.  (Because that sounds nothing like Randy, which may or may not be his real name.)  Anyway, Randall was at the house and mind you, two of our three kids had already been born, we are blessed with the world’s best dog, we have a house together and again, we have been married at this point for about seven years.  Randall says something like, “I’ll never forget that night you two met.  I remember Mac (Jeff’s college nickname) turning to me after you had spoken.”  Randall goes on to explain the conversation like this –

Jeff: “I’m going to marry that girl.”

Randall: “Dude, you’re not even going to talk to that girl.”
Jeff: “Mark my word.  I’m going to marry her.”

My husband…trying once again to prove that he is always right. And he was. 

This led us into two deeper conversations.  They went like this –

Conversation 1

Tina: “Seriously?!  You didn’t think this was something to share with me?!”

Jeff:  “I don’t know.  It didn’t seem right in the beginning and then I kind of forgot about it.”  (Okay, in all honesty, I don’t know if those were his exact words, but they were something like that.)

Tina: “Who wouldn’t share something like that?  Weirdo.” 

Conversation 2
I really can't remember the details, but it led us to talk about what we thought about each other the night we had met.  He thought I was confident and charismatic.  I thought he was cute and strong and magnetic. 

In all fairness, I did send out a dozen or so emails yesterday asking some of the questions suggested in today is the dayto see yourself through someone else’s eyes.  But I just sent them yesterday and don’t have them all back yet.  This action kept making me think about meeting my husband for the first time and I was flooded with memories of these last twelve years. 

I think that is part of what this action is about…reconnecting with the people who are closest in our lives.  We remember why we are in those relationships, why we adore these people and why we are adored. 

I don’t know about you, but I am excited and nervous and ready to see what responses I get and what I can learn about and from these people that I love. 

My stomach actually did a flip or two when I pushed SEND.  But I made myself do it because I may never know if I don’t ask.  And now I am interested.  What was my dad’s first thought when he saw my face?  When has my mom felt closest to me?  How do some of my closest friends describe our relationship to others?  And what one word would all of them use when describing themselves?  To describe me? 

As for Jeff, it took seven years to learn that he had spoken those words, but every time I think about it, I smile.  I always thought I would marry one of my best guy friends.  I thought we would go to social gatherings together, but live separate lives.  I imagined I would be happy, but not fulfilled. 

Jeff came along and changed all of that.  He is my best guy friend and we do go to social gatherings together, but our relationship goes way beyond that.  I. Am. Fulfilled. 

Hopefully he will respond to my email questions but even if he doesn’t, Randall spilled the beans.  I know he loved me before he even met me.

today is the day...to see yourself through someone else's eyes. (an action post.)

Walker had heard people say things like “Your dad has told me so much about you” before.  His usual answer was the typical and goofy “Uh oh, I hope he told you good stuff.”  Laugh, laugh.  But nothing could ever compare to the experience he had the day after his dad had surgery.

He had gotten the news about his dad being rushed to the hospital right after his 4:00 PM class.  He vaguely remembered throwing his clothes in a bag and rushing out of his dorm to catch the train home.  By the time he reached the hospital, his father was in recovery and he waited in the family gathering room with his mom and sister.  It was strange because his dad had always been so strong and healthy. 

No one saw this coming. 

When the doctor came out to talk with them, it was getting late.  She explained that everything had gone well and that Mr. Chambers should recover just fine.  She also told them that it would be best for them to come back in the morning and that he wouldn’t remember them being there anyway. 

So they went home to a fatherless house and stayed up until almost daylight reminiscing about days past.

Walker was the last one up and when he realized that his sister and mom had already left, he got himself together quickly and headed for the hospital.  As he approached his dad’s room, he could hear his voice, although something about the way he spoke sounded different.  He was a little gruffer than normal, which made sense thanks to the surgery, but at the same time, he sounded softer.  And Walker could tell by the tone that his dad was talking to a stranger. 

“My wife told me that my youngest child made it back to town last night.”  Walker stopped just shy of the door.  “That boy is amazing, I tell you.  He’s in college, so I don’t get to see him enough.  Plus, I’ve always been kind of rough on him, you know?  It’s just how a father is.  I see so much potential in him.  He’s smart and charismatic.  A good looking kid too.  He takes after his father.  What can I say?!”

The woman in the room laughed out loud.  “I remember when he was about 15 we were at a baseball game.  I coached his team.  I always coached.  It drove him crazy, but it was my way of being close to him, of being close to his friends.  Anyway, he was having a rough game, but I wouldn’t let up.  He was so mad at me that I swear he would have thrown the ball at my head when I wasn’t looking.” 

You could tell that his dad was smiling by the sound of his voice. 

“He got up to bat, 2 out, a runner on first and third.  Steve stole second base thanks to Walker’s conning.  And then, whap!  That ball sailed dead center.  My kid could hit a ball, but never like that.  We ended up winning that game by one run…Walker’s run.  I like to take credit for that win.  If he hadn’t been mad at me, well, you know.  I took the whole team out for pizza. 

At the end of the night, my boy came up to me and wrapped his arms around me.  He didn’t say a word.  He just hugged me.  It was one of those hugs that says thank you and I love you all at the same time.  I almost cried in front of all of those kids.  It’s one of my favorite memories.  The best hug I’ve ever had.  Anyway, I can’t wait to see him.”

It was then that Walker realized he was completely and totally eavesdropping.  He shook his head to snap himself back to reality and then he cruised through the door. 

“Walker!’  His dad almost sang.  “Hey Dad,” Walker said.  The nurse rose to her feet and started toward the door.  “Clair, this is my boy, Walker.”  “It’s nice to meet you, Walker,” she said.  “Your dad has told me so much about you.”  He smiled a telling smile, nodded hello and headed straight for his dad. 

As he got closer, he asked, “I’m not going to hurt you, am I?”  “Not a chance.”  “Well then,” he leaned in and embraced his dad.  Neither one of them said a word simply because they didn’t have to.  That hug said it all. 

~ For you ~

Today is the day you are going to ask questions about yourself to people in your life. 

You can do this face-to-face, if you like, but I have found that it is easier for the person responding if you do this via email or in writing.  It’s simple.  You list out the questions and you ask them to respond in a timely manner.  Be prepared for honesty and love and to learn something new about yourself.  Most importantly, enjoy. 

It’s not every day that we get to hear what people around us love about us. 

But, it is a good day when it happens.

This is not going to feel natural and it’s okay if you explain that you are participating in this blog and this horrible woman “makes” you do things.  (I am smiling, by the way.  I am a lot of things, some better than others for sure, but “horrible” is a little strong and I really can’t make you do anything.  You do all of these wonderful things because you are, well…pretty wonderful, I am sure.) 

But feel free to tell them about this blog if that helps get things started. 

I won’t be mad at you for bringing others here, I promise!

~ Don’t be Afraid to Ask ~

Here are some questions to help get you started.  Have fun! 

• What is your first memory of me?
• What is your favorite memory of me?
• What kind of child was I?
• What was I good at doing ten years ago?
• What did you think I would end up doing professionally?
• What is a funny thing you remember about my life?
• When have you felt the closest to me?
• How do you describe me to other people?
• How do you describe our relationship to others?
• What do you feel like we have in common?
• What do you think my life will be like in five years?
• What are some things about you that you would like to share with me?
• What is your favorite memory so far in your own life?
• What is the most embarrassing thing you have ever done?
• What is the best thing you have ever done?
• What do you feel are your biggest strengths?
• What one word would you use to describe yourself?  To describe me?

I hope that you'll become a part of this experience & decide to follow today is the day as we take our best of intentions & put them into motion to see what big difference our little actions can make together!

Feel free to post your experience here or email me at tinaattodayistheday@gmail.com.

Don't wait too long. After all...today is the day!

today is the day...I said thank you a bezillion times. (an experience post.)

Tonight I am not feeling like the smartest girl in the world.  I am working on a time consuming project so my sweet, sweet husband offered to do the dishes after dinner.  (Please note that I took a photo to prove that said sweet, sweet husband was doing dishes because I know that some of you who know him think that I am making this part up.  I would not lie about something this important.)  Anyway, we are going to be extremely busy these next couple of days and I have a few things that need to be done…tonight. 

So, Jeff was doing dishes. 

I was standing in the kitchen with him beginning to explain how I didn’t know when I was going to get to be able to do my sincere thank you experience before the close of the week. 

And the reason is because I was working on this important project I mentioned a moment ago.  This is where I start to feel like maybe my brain is clouded and an early bedtime might be a good idea. 

Let me back up slightly. 

It starts with the whole breast cancer double mastectomy thing, but I promise to keep that part short and fairly insignificant for now.  We were smothered (yes, in a positive way) with kindness during my diagnosis and recovery from surgery.  We had friends picking up our kids, doing our landscaping, cooking us meals for seven solid weeks (yes, I said seven…incredible), visiting, cleaning our house…you name it.  It was mind-blowing. 

And when I wasn’t drugged up on heavy narcotics, I had the wherewithal to look each of them in the eyes to say, “I want you to know that I am not going to write thank-yous.  I am letting myself off of the hook, but I need you to know how grateful I am, we are, for your kindness.  We know it takes time, energy, resources and love to do what you have done.  Thank you.”  They each did as you would expect, they said things like “Of course, of course,” “I would be upset with you if you did,” “You know we love you” and other great things like that. 

Fast forward to 3 months later and I just can’t help myself. 

I am not a good gift giver and my love language is not physical touch (although I do like a good hug).  But man, I am a words of affirmation girl.  I tell people how I feel and in return, that’s how I feel someone else’s love.  (If you aren’t familiar with Five Love Languages, I highly recommend you leave my blog right now and Google it.  Changed the way I look at relationships – romantic, professional and personal.  It will change the way you look at them too.) 

Anyway, I’m a words girl, so thank-yous are going to happen.  As a matter of fact, the main reason I didn’t get to my thank you experience today was because I was putting the final touches on the bezillion of thank you notes going out to anyone and everyone who did something special for us during the months consumed with my diagnosis. 

This is where the irony comes in and just in case you, like me, need that earlier bedtime, let me boil it down for you…

I couldn’t get to my thank you experience because I was busy writing

thank-yous.

Hmmm.  And not just preprinted-pat-you-on-the-back thank-yous.  Homemade (oh yeah, if you are on that list, you will laugh when you see how homemade they really are) thank-yous with individual notes about what my family and I appreciated most about that was done during this time. 

Well, at least my today is the day action for the week and my thank-yous notes are both done.  It’s time for bed.  So what if it’s only 8:30?  It’s obvious I could use more sleep.

today is the day...to say thank you. (an action post.)

Sam was a janitor at a small business and had been on the job for over 15 years.  Because of some changes in the company, he had gone from working the day shift to evenings and he missed being with his co-workers.  Being a janitor can make you feel great about your work when there are people around to appreciate it, but something about working the nightshift alone was well, lonely. 

On the night of his 50^th birthday, Sam went to work nearly tugging himself along. 

His wife and kids had asked him to take the night off, but Sam knew that if he didn’t do the job no one would and he just couldn’t bring himself to ask.  So he left his family behind and he went.  But when he walked in the door of office building that night he lost his breath for a moment. 

Hanging in the lobby were signs – purple signs, blue signs, yellow signs, all hanging from the ceiling.  Each read “Happy Birthday, Sam!” and had a personal note of appreciation and care along with the signatures of his co-workers. 

There are 76 employees in this company and at a glance Sam would have sworn that each one of them had created a birthday wish just for him.  And he was right.  He gathered his cart full of cleaning supplies and the smile on his face kept getting bigger and bigger.  He was touched by this kindness.  But the surprise wasn’t over. 

As he walked into each office area he noticed that all of the trashcans were empty and the spaces were clean.  The restrooms were stocked and not a bit of work needed to be done.  Sam felt a rush through his body. 

He wanted to run to the next room. 

He wanted to jump up and down and shout “thank you” to the world. 

Nearing the break room, he heard giggling.  With a mix of reluctance and excitement, Sam turned the corner.  Tears instantly filled his eyes as he locked in on his beautiful wife and their four kids.  There they stood with presents in hand and a birthday cake lit with candles to celebrate him. 

Sam later learned that the office manager had orchestrated the entire thing.  She knew the work that he put into the company and with the approval and support of the owner and her co-workers, the entire team had pulled together to show Sam that they appreciate and care about him and are grateful for the work he does every day to take care of so many others. 

Work was never the same for Sam after that night. 

Any feeling of loneliness was gone.  He felt pride when he walked in at night knowing that his work was important.  And every once in a while he would choose an office to leave a note of thanks for gifting him with the best birthday ever or for the work they do every day. 

Sam had learned a lot in his 50 years of life, but one of the most recent lessons was that a simple and genuine thank you can change someone’s life forever. 

 

~ today is the day...for you ~

Today is the day you are going to share a simple and

genuine thank you with someone. 

I mean really say thank you.

 

~ um, yeah, thanks… ~

The reality is that we say it dozens of times a day.  Most of the time saying thank you is like walking by a mirror and catching our reflection.  We don’t really care to look at ourselves, but it’s a habit.  With thank yous, we don’t always even know the words are coming out of our mouths, but we’ve been taught that it is polite and right, so we say the words without a thought.

The thank you that I am talking about is special.  Today is the day you are going to make a real connection when you say the words.

For me, it’s when I actually look at the server at a restaurant and thank her for taking care of me.  And I know the difference because I have said thank you lots of times when someone sets my drink on the table and if I am being honest, I don’t know if she was a blonde or a brunette because I never looked up.  Today I am going to look up.

This thank you comes when I walk into my child’s day care and I take a moment in the midst of chaos to tell her teacher how grateful I am that she agreed to take this job and keeps my precious child safe, happy and growing.

My sincere thank you is when I take a bottle of water to the trash collector on a hot summer day and tell him thanks for being there every week.  The reality is that I have passed him every Tuesday for the last year without a smile or a hello as I load in my car ready for work my water in hand.

Today is the day that you feel the thank you bubble up inside of you and when you say the words, you mean them with everything you have.

It’s hard to say what your thank you is going to mean to the other person.  We may never know.  But what if it is your thank you that makes them do a better job, be a better parent or be better to the people around them?  What if it is these simple, yet sincere words that change their world forever?

Today is the day to really say thank you to someone who deserves to hear it.

I hope that you'll become a part of this experience & decide to follow today is the day as we take our best of intentions & put them into motion to see what big difference our little actions can make together!

Feel free to post your experience here or email me at tinaattodayistheday@gmail.com.

Don't wait too long. After all...today is the day!

today is the day...to wear it with love. (an experience post.)

Stupid robbers.  What makes people think it is okay to break into someone’s house and take their things?  I get that people are desperate.  I get that people are in need.  But stealing…it just makes me sick to my stomach and very angry. 

A dear friend of mine was robbed last week. 

She came home to find drawers emptied on the floor, closets ripped apart, bed mattresses tossed.  She came home to find that someone had literally robbed her of her memories by taking silver handed down by her mother and grandmother and precious jewelry collected over the last sixty some years.  She came home to feel violated and scared. 

This friend of mine is strong.  She is faithful.  She was quick to say the words, “Well, no one was hurt and it’s only stuff.”  But the pain in her eyes was evident and those of us who love her hurt with her.  We wanted to help her wash away the fingerprints or curl up on her couch to protect her like guards through the night. 

But she wouldn’t have it. 

So we talked about her.  And we decided that even though it wouldn’t replace what she had lost, we would each bring her a gift of jewelry from our own collections. I am the kind of person who owns a lot of costume jewelry.  I love big bulky necklaces and I am thrilled that the 80’s influence of wearing dozens of bracelets at the same time is back

in style. 

But I certainly wouldn’t miss one piece.  Who am I kidding…I wouldn’t miss dozens of pieces and don’t need any of them.  (My mantra lately has been “Want or need?  Want or need?” because the reality is they are two very different things.) 

This morning she came into her office to see jewelry spread out on her desk. 

From across the hall I could hear her say, “What is this?”  A few minutes later, I heard her crying. 

She’s curious.  She’s touched.  She’s crying what I hope are happy tears.  “Who?” She asked me.  “I don’t know what you are talking about,” I said with a smile that told a different story.  “While this doesn’t replace what you lost, hopefully it will create a new memory.  Just know that you are loved.”

I didn’t say these exact words, but I hope that this gesture tells her better than I could ever voice that we are right here, walking together.