no hug. no smile. no problem. (an experience post.)

Well, I did it.  I gifted a neighbor and I have to say, it was different than I had anticipated.  This is a neighbor I had never met before.  I had heard from someone else in our housing addition that this young couple was expecting their first child, so this seemed like a no-brainer. 

Grabbed a gift bag.  Grabbed some tissue paper.  I placed in a few beautiful wrapped cookies from a local restaurant and a gift card hoping that it would be enough to get them dinner on a tired evening after being up all hours of the night with their new little one. 

Putting it all together made me think about having my three kids and how unexpected and crazy and wonderful it all was when they first came into our lives.  I thought about countless hours spent sitting with my new babies curled up in my lap, feeling the heat of their sweet new fingers and listening to the beautiful rhythm of their breaths. 

People always tell new parents how quickly it all goes by and to stop wishing away the moment and to just be still, but we can’t help it.  We think about what it will be like when they say those first words. 

“Da Da” and “Ma Ma” are such special gifts. 

We dream about the day that they can crawl and then walk and then run.  We think about sports and faith and school and, and, and…

As a chance to share this experience and this emotional reunion I was having in my own heart, I invited my kids to join me.  It was, of course, my three-year old who jumped at the chance to go with me.  So off we went.  I chased after her as she picked up sticks, sang Old McDonald and ran just far enough ahead of me that I had to quicken my steps.

But when we got to the house, I froze for a second.  I hadn’t scripted what to say.  In all honesty, I kind of looked a mess and then thanked God that my brown-eyed girl was with me because once the couple got a look at her they wouldn’t even remember I was there. 

My own words, “today is the day,” kept racing through my heard.    

We walked up the large steps one by one and I felt my heart racing.  Ding dong.  The doorbell rang and for just a moment I wanted to run away like teenager pulling a prank at dusk.  But I stayed…mainly because my little one can’t run that fast!

The door opened and there stood my neighbor.

“Today is the day,” I thought again.  “Do this.” 

“Hi.  I’m Tina.  My husband and I are friends with the Sampsons around the corner and they told us that you are expecting your first child in a couple of weeks, so we thought we would bring you a gift,” I babbled as I handed him the red and blue bag. 

“I’m Tim.  And actually we had some complications, so we had the baby a few weeks ago.  She’s still in the hospital.”  He said with a straight and tired face, not once glancing at the anxious child holding onto my leg. 

I didn’t know what to say, but the words just came out, “Is she going to be okay?” 

“We hope so,” he said with what seemed like it was trying to be a smile.

“What is your daughter’s name?”

“Samantha,” he said.

“We will pray for her.”  I motioned to our street and said, “If there is anything else we can do, please know we are literally around the corner.”

We exchanged niceties and off we went.  For a moment I felt sad, like this had been a bust.  I guess I thought I would get some big reaction.  But really, if this man had grabbed and hugged me or given me some huge cheesy smile, I don’t know what I would have done. 

So it made me think…

How am I to know what this small gesture meant to this man and woman who are clearly going through so much?  Maybe it meant nothing.  Maybe it changed their day.  Maybe it gave them comfort to know that a neighbor was thinking of them and went out of her way to buy them a meal.  Maybe he was excited and grateful and touched, but had just hung up the phone with the doctor or his wife who was sitting bedside to their newborn because she couldn’t bear the thought of being five steps away from this new life.  Maybe he had just woken from a nap because he had been up all night researching an illness that was threatening his first child’s future.  Maybe…it doesn’t matter.

Doing something kind for someone else shouldn’t be something we do because we expect a reaction.  It shouldn’t be something we do because we think it will change who they are, or who we are.  We should do things for our neighbors because it is the right thing to do.  

And really, we never know what happens when that door closes.

We are praying for baby Samantha.  We are praying for her parents.  We are hopeful that the day will come soon when they bring her home.  Today is the day we are hopeful for them that they will quickly be able to get past the moment-to-moment fear for her life and that they will be swept away, like so many of us, dreaming about “Da Das” and “Ma Mas” and the day that they will be forced to chase after her as she runs down the sidewalk grabbing sticks and singing songs.