today is the day...I remember that first time. (an action post.)

I may get in a lot of trouble for writing this post, but hey, it’s all for the good of the blog, right? 

I met my husband on June 24, 2000.  It was the night of our very first fundraising gala for Joy’s House.  We didn’t even have a Joy’s House house yet, which means that we weren’t providing any actual adult day services.  Yet there we were in a room at the Colts complex with 200+ people, raising thousands of dollars for a concept.  That alone was pretty electrifying.

But it was also the night I met Jeff. 

The silent auction had closed.  The emcee had introduced the night.  I had spoken with the mic in hand and my emotions on my sleeve.  The band was beginning to play. 

People were generously coming up to share their names and companies and possible connections.  And then Jeff appeared.  He extended his hand, introduced himself and told me that he was in the construction materials world and offered to help. 

I very casually asked him to write down his name and number and leave it at the registration table so that I could follow up.  Instead, he wrote it on a bingo card and placed it in my hand, reiterating that he would like to help and would love to take me to lunch or dinner to talk about it. 

I played coy, thanking him with a smile.  When he walked away, I turned to my mom and said, “The cutest guy just gave me his number and I hope he doesn’t really want to talk business.” 

The room is pretty square.  And even with 200+ people in it, you run into each other like mice in a cage.  I ran into this new guy many times throughout the night and we kept talking business.  I finally turned to him and said, “I’m tired of talking business.  I want to dance.  Do you like to dance?”  He nodded yes.

Off we went to the dance floor.

It’s a quick story from there.  Went out on a date that week.  Spent time together nearly every day.  Met the families almost instantly.  Declared our love.  Got engaged six months to the day we met.  Married nine months after that.  Had three kids.  And here we are. 

Pretty simple, really.

But about seven years into this marriage, we were sitting with a dear friend of Jeff’s.  We’ll call him Randall.  (Because that sounds nothing like Randy, which may or may not be his real name.)  Anyway, Randall was at the house and mind you, two of our three kids had already been born, we are blessed with the world’s best dog, we have a house together and again, we have been married at this point for about seven years.  Randall says something like, “I’ll never forget that night you two met.  I remember Mac (Jeff’s college nickname) turning to me after you had spoken.”  Randall goes on to explain the conversation like this –

Jeff: “I’m going to marry that girl.”

Randall: “Dude, you’re not even going to talk to that girl.”
Jeff: “Mark my word.  I’m going to marry her.”

My husband…trying once again to prove that he is always right. And he was. 

This led us into two deeper conversations.  They went like this –

Conversation 1

Tina: “Seriously?!  You didn’t think this was something to share with me?!”

Jeff:  “I don’t know.  It didn’t seem right in the beginning and then I kind of forgot about it.”  (Okay, in all honesty, I don’t know if those were his exact words, but they were something like that.)

Tina: “Who wouldn’t share something like that?  Weirdo.” 

Conversation 2
I really can't remember the details, but it led us to talk about what we thought about each other the night we had met.  He thought I was confident and charismatic.  I thought he was cute and strong and magnetic. 

In all fairness, I did send out a dozen or so emails yesterday asking some of the questions suggested in today is the dayto see yourself through someone else’s eyes.  But I just sent them yesterday and don’t have them all back yet.  This action kept making me think about meeting my husband for the first time and I was flooded with memories of these last twelve years. 

I think that is part of what this action is about…reconnecting with the people who are closest in our lives.  We remember why we are in those relationships, why we adore these people and why we are adored. 

I don’t know about you, but I am excited and nervous and ready to see what responses I get and what I can learn about and from these people that I love. 

My stomach actually did a flip or two when I pushed SEND.  But I made myself do it because I may never know if I don’t ask.  And now I am interested.  What was my dad’s first thought when he saw my face?  When has my mom felt closest to me?  How do some of my closest friends describe our relationship to others?  And what one word would all of them use when describing themselves?  To describe me? 

As for Jeff, it took seven years to learn that he had spoken those words, but every time I think about it, I smile.  I always thought I would marry one of my best guy friends.  I thought we would go to social gatherings together, but live separate lives.  I imagined I would be happy, but not fulfilled. 

Jeff came along and changed all of that.  He is my best guy friend and we do go to social gatherings together, but our relationship goes way beyond that.  I. Am. Fulfilled. 

Hopefully he will respond to my email questions but even if he doesn’t, Randall spilled the beans.  I know he loved me before he even met me.